Exultant Records
Exultant records are based deep beneath London, in the darkest depths of an unimaginably large underground boiler, chugging out a continuous plume of gritty, chunky Elektro House.
The label bosses generally spend most of their day sitting behind polished mahogany desks, smoking Cuba’s fattest and finest, whilst the musical sweatshop supervisor whips the musicians until they start exulting, and create innovative genre-busting chart toppers.
We hope you enjoy listening to the tracks just as much as we enjoyed making them!
What is “Exulting”
Simply put, Exulting is a phrase, describing an activity, that relates to the process generally understood to be the means by which, under control and operation of musical apparatus and other mechanical inputs, it can be made possible to produce a coherent output composition in media or medialess format that when amplified electronically excites molecular particles in the air, therewith animating a signalling path directly into the brain via acoustic input transducers commonly referred to as ears, and thereinafter inducing minute electronic impulses interpreted in the auditory cortex as "pleasant" and henceforth invoking a reward response accompanied by the release of endorphins, an uplifted feeling, and occasional spontaneous verbal emissions like “Yoyo bring the bass” and “that’s one funky beat” and so forth as used by today’s trendy youth.
It’s blatantly obvious from this definition that we possess abundant musical prowess. Following this simple formula, Exultant Records have already released numerous so-called killer tracks. Only recently the Fromage Frog was acquitted for serial murder after his recent works. Singlehandedly decimating dozens of nightclubs, dance floors, and home sound systems, and leaving behind a torrent of complaints in the wake of his Radio Five Live Wednesday night slot, The Frog claimed innocence and ignorance. It wasn't him, it was all engineer extraordinaire Marcus Holmes Nuisance who had sabotaged Frog's studio with his incessant "improvements". Cut a long story short, the residing Judge declared that listeners need only switch off their home stereos to avoid the unwanted side effects of nervousness, sweating, vomiting, and untimely demise.
Foot note: Very similar to writers block is a “Lack of Exulting” -- Sometimes referred to as constipation, although ironically usually manifesting itself as diarrhoea, the term is oft confused with the symptomatic loss of respect, which is itself normally a result of over-exulting.
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